Authored: November 10, 2020

Studies show approximately 8% of the people who set goals achieve them. If setting goals and growth mindset are related then the next question becomes how do we effectively achieve our goals. It would seem that the ability to exert self-control would be beneficial when it comes to setting and achieving goals. Actually research shows that the ability to exert self-control is correlated to a variety of positive outcomes, ranging from academic success to better relationships.

Self-control is defined as the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts and behaviors in the face of temptations and impulses. Basically self-control is about regulating a short-term impulse for a long term gain. Self-control is the ability to make decisions that will move us toward our long-term goals, even when those decisions don’t feel as good as short term temptations.

Research suggests that we spend a lot of time during our day exerting self-control, resisting desires – that second piece of cake, the next youtube video, those new shoes. Research also suggests that self-control is a limited resource, that can get used up. In other words, if you perform a task that requires a large amount of self-control, you will have less self-control available to perform subsequent tasks.

How do we develop self-control? There are many ways. I believe one of the best ways is learning to breathe. Learning to breathe offers you the ability to put space between the impulse and the action. Another way to put that distance is by focusing on something else, a book you just read, the meal you will eat, anything that will take your attention off the object of temptation. Imagining the object of temptation as something toxic is another option. Another way to foster self-control is by rewarding yourself or punishing yourself. Reward yourself for exerting self-control and punish yourself for not exerting self-control.

It bears repeating, the ability to exert self-control is correlated to a variety of positive outcomes.